My personal experiences with psychedelic truffles
Updated: May 16, 2022
Scroll down to read about my second time!
When and where
On Saturday, January 8, I joined a truffle ceremony at Lichtjes aan de Haven in Schoonhoven (the Dutch village where I was born and raised). The ceremony was guided by two lovely women, Kitty de Laet and Floor Plugers. I've known Kitty since I was 4 years old and her daughter is one of my dearest and oldest friends. This made the experience even more special, that I had such a familiar face by my side the entire time.
Truffles in a nutshell
Using truffles is a way of psychedelic therapy. It helps you to see yourself, your life and your world from a different perspective. It is known to result in a better sense of peace of mind, acceptance, gratefulness, connection and valuable insights. In other cases, it's even used to treat psychological disorders or illnesses.
Truffles are the main compound of what they call 'magic mushrooms'. This form of psychedelia has been used by indigenous populations for centuries before it become more common in Western cultures.
Over the last year, 2021, I started this company. It makes me super happy to be doing this, but owning a business as a 25-year old also comes with a lot of insecurities and even self-doubt. This triggered some of my childhood patterns to come up which were limiting both my personal and professional development. I saw it as a sign to step outside of my comfort zone and confront these patterns and limiting beliefs.
The intention that I set for myself before the truffle ceremony was to get more clarity about how to let go of these patterns, leave them in the past and get on with my life.
We started the day with a short cleanse with 'Palo Santo' for a fresh beginning with a fresh mind.
This was followed by a meditation to set our intentions and to connect with the group.
The second part of the preparations was 20 minutes of 'connected breathing', where you use your breath to step out of your body and to set your current state of mind aside.
We then continued to the truffle ceremony itself. We all ate 15 grams of truffles. They tasted a little bit like walnuts with a sour aftertaste.
The trip took about 4 hours. Afterwards, we had a nice meal together, or what they call a 'potluck'.
We closed the day with a final meditation and by sharing our experiences and our takeaways.
The trip, the journey...
Disclaimer: a truffle trip is something so unique and personal that it's impossible to explain it just so that the other person understands completely.
The overall experience was super positive and happy and light. It was everything but what I expected it to be at first. I thought, based on the stories of others, that a lot of people who are close to me would appear in some way. None of that was true. I mostly experienced 'myself'.
I 'tripped' for about 4,5 hours. The ceremony leaders or 'guiders' played specific music with a clear rhythm and sound, or they paused the music to play a subtle rhythm on a drum or with little bells and other natural sounds. My mind followed the rhythm. It went fast when the rhythm built up and it slowed down just as the sounds slowed down as well.
When I closed my eyes, I saw bright colours and shapes and light and glitters and they were constantly flowing in different directions just like the shapes were constantly changing too. It was very similar to a kaleidoscope.
I also continuously felt pressure, mostly on my head, face and more down towards my lower belly, vagina and - how particular it may sound - my uterus. It wasn't a painful pressure. It was as if someone pressured their hands on me in a very gentle and mild way. Try to hold your head with both hands and put a little pressure on it. This is how it basically felt like.
The other parts of my body I didn't really feel. They were there, but they weren't present. Sometimes I would get very restless in my feet, starting to move them and rub them against each other. After a short moment, that would stop again.
Both the pressure, the colours, the shapes and the lights changed together with the rhythm of the music, the drums or the other instruments that were used. As if there was a river or a stream that was taking me with it, flowing in different directions, at different speeds and through different curves.
When I would open my eyes, I would see the world as it was but with more intense colours and everything would vibrate very slowly, going from looking very 'sharp' to rather 'blurry'. It was not scary at all. It felt very normal (except when I went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror, that was super strange).
Both the women who were guiding the ceremony wore white dresses and loose white clothing. They seemed to me like goddesses. I looked at them taking care of everyone at the ceremony and it gave me such a strong sense of femininity, female fertility and sexuality. I felt mother earth very strongly inside of me, the power of women and the power of being female.
It felt beautiful and calm and peaceful. As if I were in Garden of Eden, but without Adam, only Eves. A garden where women lived together peacefully. Are you still following me?
When the effect of the truffles slowly started to fade away, we closed the trip with some tender music, tea and small conversations trying to give words to what we experienced. This wasn't easy. There was an intense feeling, but very difficult to express in words.
Suddenly, there was this extreme hunger coming up. I hadn't eaten for 8 hours straight and I only had a very light breakfast, so it was time to eat. There was an amazing meal prepared by the host.
The table was stacked with delicious foods like quiches, fruit, wraps, chocolates, cookies, fresh juices and soups. The first taste of food was incredible.
The tastes were much more intense and everything was delicious. It was one of the best meals I've ever had in my life. The moment I had some sugar in my body again, I started to land on earth and feel more like myself.
The need for rest and reflection
My boyfriend picked me up by car. It is said that you can drive after the truffles wear off, but that was literally the last thing on my mind and the last thing I'd wanted. I strongly recommend you do the same or arrange for a place to sleep close to the location of the ceremony.
I came back home and I felt a deep need for sleep, rest en reflection. I slept for at least 10 hours, I woke up and I felt rather empty. It was a peaceful emptiness. I felt satisfied. I felt happy with what I experienced. There was so much free space that I could fill again with inspiration, ideas and thoughts.
I didn't have a hangover or anything, just a minor headache, which is a common after-effect. So I took it very easy, ate the foods I wanted to eat, took the rest that I needed and only did the things I wanted to do. I ended up spending a very cosy day at home, on the couch, processing everything that I went through the day before.
Another recommendation is to not plan anything the day or a couple of days after your ceremony. Don't dive back into your usual life straight away. Allow yourself the time to land, process, reflect and just rest. You will need both the physical and the mental recovery.
My most important takeaway
I explained how I felt so much feminine energy around -and inside of me. This gave me a strong sense of my own femininity, my inner woman. As if my body and my mind told me that can 100% trust myself. No matter what happens in my surroundings, I can always count on myself and my own inner power.
I find it so comforting and reassuring to know this of myself. Especially in the moments that I feel insecure, or when I doubt myself, or when I think I will never be enough, I go back to this feeling and it offers immediate relief. It also gave me a new boost of trust that my menstruation cycle will return. For those who don't know, I haven't had my period in almost 1,5 years. You can read everything about it here.
My second ceremony on April 30, 2022
This ceremony was a special one because it was only me and my best childhood friends. We decided that we wanted to do a private ceremony. We went through an intense period together, which only made our bond stronger and we felt like this was a way of celebrating our friendship.
I knew that my second time around it would be different. The first time was so positive and colourful and glittery and happy that I was certain there just had to be more.
The ceremony was pretty much the same as last time. We started with a meditation, followed by breathwork and after that, we moved on to the truffles.
And oh what a ride it was this time.
I really struggled to eat the truffles. I remembered how nauseous I was the first time and that memory alone made me nauseous again.
After 10 minutes nausea faded away and I started to notice the effects of the truffles quickly after that. The beginning was the same: lots of colours and shapes as if I were looking through a kaleidoscope.
But then suddenly my skin started to feel really hot, similar to how metal looks straight out of the fire: all red and orange. There was a tingling over my whole body and I started to shake. I lost control over my own body and I felt like I was hiding from something or someone.
I was feeling really scared because there was no escape. I was hiding my face with my hands. I tried to think about what I was hiding from, but nothing or no one popped up. Up until today I still don't know who or what it was that caused me to feel this way. I will need more time to discover this and most importantly, understand it.
That's the thing with magic truffles. Everything you see, feel and experience is for a reason. Whether it becomes clear to you right away or after a long time. Some things just need patience.
After that intense first phase, I felt mellow and calm. There was a huge weight lifted off of my body. I thought that this would be the final phase of the trip, but then I was surprised by a sense of discomfort that came over me.
And whenever we feel uncomfortable, we do everything we can to make it go away as fast as possible. For me, this is mostly when I feel a negative emotion.
Sometimes when I feel overwhelmed, stressed, sad or anxious, I can't really let it be there. I must find a solution to make it go away. During the trip, you can't control this and this has taught me a great deal.
Unlike the first part of the trip, the second part was crystal clear to me. I understood why I had to feel so uncomfortable and I now practice it every day to allow a negative emotion to 'just be there'.
I don't try to suppress or reject it. There is much less resistance. It's beautiful to notice how I give myself that space. I can tell myself it is OK to feel a certain way.
I'm not perfect and one day I am more successful and the next I still struggle a bit. In the end, it was a wonderful lesson and for that, I'm so grateful. And whatever else will come to me at a later stage, I know it will only help me to grow and develop further.